Constipation Crisis Kit

Fandom Planet

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  • An emergency care kit for all those suffering from constipation!
  • One roll of toilet paper included for extreme wiping!
  • One can of prune juice included to assist with the bowel release!
  • It happens to everyone! Arm yourself before it’s too late!

Constipated? Don’t Find Yourself Without These Few Essentials!

Constipation is one of those frequent things that happens to everyone. In most cases, constipation is merely a symptom of some greater problem. Other times, it just happens due to dietary reasons or just for the hell of it. While the cause may not be so clear, we can all agree that constipation sucks balls. Big ones. When suffering from constipation, we may turn to all sorts of unsavory means to relieve ourselves, like laxatives or similar medicines. But for relief that comes without the laxative hangman’s axe, we advise you to turn to the Constipation Crisis Kit and all the specialist equipment you will find inside. Included are an extra roll of toilet paper and a can of prune juice. Both you will find to be of the utmost importance.

Constipation Doesn’t Have To Be A Crisis! Arm Yourself!

The Constipation Crisis Kit is an essential safety precaution for everyone who sits a toilet. Even if you have the healthiest of diets, chances are that you will find your bowels to be as obstructed as all the good people who have come before you. No one can ever have too much toilet paper. You are a fool to think otherwise. The prune juice is an ancient remedy that gets the bowels flowing. Ask your grandparents, ask their grandparents – all will tell of tales of the benefits of prune juice. So don’t find yourself wanting for these essential items! Prepare your butt with the Constipation Crisis Kit!


  • One roll of toilet paper.
  • One can of prune juice.

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Returns Policy

You may return most new, unopened items within 30 days of delivery for a full refund. We'll also pay the return shipping costs if the return is a result of our error (you received an incorrect or defective item, etc.).

You should expect to receive your refund within four weeks of giving your package to the return shipper, however, in many cases you will receive a refund more quickly. This time period includes the transit time for us to receive your return from the shipper (5 to 10 business days), the time it takes us to process your return once we receive it (3 to 5 business days), and the time it takes your bank to process our refund request (5 to 10 business days).

If you need to return an item, simply login to your account, view the order using the 'Complete Orders' link under the My Account menu and click the Return Item(s) button. We'll notify you via e-mail of your refund once we've received and processed the returned item.


We can ship to virtually any address in the world. Note that there are restrictions on some products, and some products cannot be shipped to international destinations.

When you place an order, we will estimate shipping and delivery dates for you based on the availability of your items and the shipping options you choose. Depending on the shipping provider you choose, shipping date estimates may appear on the shipping quotes page.

Please also note that the shipping rates for many items we sell are weight-based. The weight of any such item can be found on its detail page. To reflect the policies of the shipping companies we use, all weights will be rounded up to the next full pound.

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